When you’re trying to get pregnant it’s very easy to get stuck into a routine where everything is about conceiving and, as a result, your own needs get left behind. Trying to get pregnant can be an emotional rollercoaster and painful.

Here are a few recommendations to take a bit of time for you – you deserve it!

Take Your Hour

At least once every week take an hour that is utterly and completely yours. Whether that hour is spent in a bubble bath with candles or reading a book on the beach, the time is yours and it needs to be spent focusing on you. Take the time to unwind, let all of the pressures roll off of you and just relax.

In fact, that time doesn’t have to be limited to an hour at all. It can be two or three hours or even an entire afternoon. And if you can do it more than once a week, that’s even better. Just make sure you have at least one hour of time each and every week that is completely yours for yourself.

Embrace Your Hobbies

When some women focus on getting pregnant, they let everything else fall to the wayside. Hobbies that they once enjoyed don’t seem as important anymore. Don’t let this happen to you. If you’ve always loved book clubs, keep going. If you enjoy cooking, take a cooking class.

Go to Dinner with Friends

Sometimes our friends can be a wonderful resource for understanding and, if you ask them, they will likely understand that you need to get out once in a while for some good, healthy fun. Plan a group yoga class or a picnic in the park. Time spent with friends can rejuvenate your spirit at the times in which you need it most. Let them know the time out is for fun, not focused on why you are not pregnant.

Meditate

Getting your mind in touch with your body is one of the best things you can do while you are trying to conceive, and one of the most powerful ways to do this is through meditation. If you haven’t begun meditating yet, you may be surprised at just how effective this tool can be for reducing stress and creating a positive mindset.

This makes it all worth it. Allow us to be “shameless” and share this jaw-dropping testimonial from one of our customers who used our programs while trying to conceive, through an IVF, all through her pregnancy, and to help prepare her for her delivery. Thank you so much Rebecca for all your support.

“I honestly believe what you are offering can help transform the world of infertility– the combination of great practitioners and your programs can turn a situation that feels dire to one that feels magical. I have been doing some support work with women who are going through IF and I tell them that the first thing they should do is download or get the relaxation fertility CDs….. once I have a little time I will write you a bit about my experience with your Happy Birth program. I used other meditations for my last birth but found that certain statements on happy birth were much easier to “cling to” in the middle of such a quick labor. I was able to turn everything over to my body and trust that my body was taking care of me– and the baby.

Congratulations to you — you are helping create happy births one at a time– a huge gift to women and families every where. Keep up the amazing work.

What a difference a year makes!

Last year, we were a new company and just simply attended the event.  This year, however, not only were we exhibitors, speakers, but Sue is also on the board and helped run the event. That’s progress!

The day started wonderfully with Melissa Ford delivering the keynote speech over breakfast and coffee, announcing that it was the “earliest conference in the history of the world.” She delivered a touching and very thoughtful speech. Recalling the fact that the last thing people want to hear is “just relax” (“the road to hell is paved with just relax”)…she recalled a touching example in her life when she was dealing with infertility, and how she was invited to speak at Politics and Prose, a well-respected book store in the DC area. Wanting to be fully prepared, she had notes of her speech, but due to a mishap, realized with 30 seconds to go on stage that she had nothing with her. The owner of the store said to her – with some tough love – it’s time to “just wing it” and go out there and deal with it. Relating this elegantly back to infertility, Melissa’s speech was moving, thought-provoking and of course humorous.

“Just wing it is the anti-just relax. “Just relax” dismisses the problem. It says: it’s not such a huge deal, just relax about it. It’s negating the problem: it’s not a medical issue; it’s just your stress getting the best of you. It’s belittling the problem: that infertility can be solved with a vacation or a good massage.

Where as “just wing it” acknowledges the problem and reminds the person that they need to find it somewhere within themselves to cope. The only way out of infertility is through infertility. You have to resolve it; you can’t live here indefinitely.” – Melissa Ford

I suppose good writers are like that – they can take relatively diverse experiences and see a new connection or a deeper meaning. Earlier on, she commented on the numerous miscarriages she endured and the fact that she didn’t feel a right to mourn from an early-stage miscarriage or a chemical pregnancy – but at the time feeling distinctly that she could not give herself the time or space to mourn the loss. What loss? You were never technically pregnant, or miscarriages happen all the time, right? She summarized that feeling so well – and how important it is to give yourself the time and space to be good to yourself first and foremost.

The rest of the day was jam-packed with some excellent seminars and workshops covering all aspects of infertility, egg donation and adoption. Exhibitors included the likes of Boston IVF, EMD Serono, Village Pharmacy, Prospective Families – among many many others.

In the late afternoon, I had the opportunity to lead an interactive mind-body session where we did a live progressive body scan and relaxation session with the intention of teaching this technique for stress reduction. We dimmed the lights, played some relaxing music, did some deep breathing exercises and together relaxed every part of our body. It was a wonderful way to end a long day.

We also appreciate the work that everyone put forth to create such a special event. From the leadership team to the volunteers, it was a spectacular showing that I’m sure provided education and that “one piece of advice” that could help these couples on their paths to parenthood.

Adoption has been on our minds of late. Our best friends are in the latter stages of domestic adoption, and have had a few heart-breaks and near-misses.

We take heart and get so excited, however, when we hear of adoptions proceeding to the hopeful conclusion. This is the family that we posted the video of a few weeks back of them seeing their son for the first time through pictures, and now this video is of the entire family meeting Endale.

Warning: this is incredibly emotional and do expect your eyes to explode with tears!

When creating our Energy for Empowerment Program, I did a lot of research on the effects of lack of sleep on our body.  Turns out, lack of sleep can be the first domino in a chain of events that can wreak havoc on all aspects of your well-being.  When you do not get enough sleep, your body does not operate the way it should, and the net result is increased stress levels and cortisol, which we all know is harmful to all facets of our well-being and fertility.

I have always been one that “needs” 7 – 8 hours of sleep per night, or else I never leave zombie-land throughout the day.  Not only that, but even with 7 – 8 hours sleep per night, I still would rarely wake up feeling refreshed, energetic and feeling positive for the day. I used to need something like the “clocky” alarm clock that jumps off your nightstand when you don’t get up on time!

I am proud to say that I have changed that.

I now wake up without the alarm.  I now wake up feeling positive and excited for the day.  I start by planning my day while I still have my eyes closed and then spring out of bed.  How did I accomplish this?

By reprogramming my subconscious to allow for deeper sleep, and re-thinking about how I awake.

One of the sessions in our energy program focuses on your sleep:  Helping to fall asleep, and more importantly, programming your mind and body to sleep as deep as possible

It’s your subconscious mind in the wee-hours of the morning that dictate your behavior.  If you have always woken up feeling lethargic and tired, I believe the only way to change that is to change your thinking.  How can you change the thinking?  By using your brain to guide your body and direct it to change how it feels and reacts to waking up.

It’s hard for me to listen to my own voice, so I have created programs that I know can help people, but I have been the last one to actually use them.  My sister urged me to get over that and I am glad to say that and now I actually enjoy listening to myself (I sound pretty good, BTW!).  Anyway, I have really started to integrate the sleep and other aspects of the Energy program into my routine and the difference is profound and life-changing.

I am so passionate about what you can do with our programs and thank you for following along!

Just to show you how truly easy it is to use our programs and integrate it into your daily life – take a minute and watch…We had fun making it!

And it might just get you to make a similar one and enter to win an Apple iPad!

This post dedicated to my closest friends who are going through the process of adoption that I admire and love so greatly.

There was a bag packed full of brand new baby boy clothes and tiny diapers. A breast pump. An infant car seat.

Our closest friends were within a few days of adoption. The birth mother had selected them and plans were set. A c-section was scheduled and they flew down to be there for the birth. Given the strength of the relationship that had built over the previous months, the birth mother asked my friend to be part of the birthing process. She was. She was the first to hold the baby. There were tears of happiness given the beauty and health of this baby boy. When they couldn’t stay at the hospital any longer, they went to buy presents for the birth mom and her family.

And then…the birth mother decided to keep the baby.

The rational way to look at this of course is the fact that the birth mom has made a decision that she feels comfortable with. That she has decided to raise this child.

But plans were made. The baby was named. There was to be a baptism with two of his cousins. My friend was even going to breast feed.

I am in awe of the strength, love and hope of my friends who are going through this. And this is the second time this has happened to them.  Yes, it was one of the most painful things they have ever experienced.  Period.  But they are not bitter.  They are not vengeful. Nope. They simply remain hopeful. Ready to start the process all over again.

I personally don’t know if I could do this. To go through that again. To put yourself out there again. But I know they will. They will persevere and continue, touching countless lives in a positive way as they do. I guarantee that this birth mom will never forget this couple who demonstrated the highest qualities of virtue, generosity and love.

Life unfolds in mysterious ways.  Events like this remind me to surrender and remember that everything happens in its own time.

And for the next time there will be a bag packed of baby clothes with tiny diapers. A breast pump. An infant car seat.  And boundless love.

I believe that everyone trying to get pregnant and having difficulty at some point contemplates what it would be like to adopt even if it is for a few moments. I’ve always said there is a courage associated with that decision – just like there is a courage in the decision in having your own baby. It changes your life completely and forever.

Break out the tissue before you watch this incredible video. This is of a young family seeing their adopted son for the very first time.

My best friend, Stephanie, is on this journey to bring a third child into their family and I get to witness this first hand. Not only me, but my family gets to see and experience what this is like. It’s love unbounded. I am hoping she will write about it for us…and plan to see the photos.

Peter, the Dad in the video, writes “my wife Andrea and I are adoption advocates and are always looking to encourage others to follow their calling. Also check out Adoption Fathers, a website I started to serve as a resource for prospective adoptive fathers. Thanks again for your note and please let me know if there is anything else I can do to support your or your families.”

As we all know, the “baby-dance” can take us on a very difficult emotional roller-coaster. Talking with family and friends certainly helps, but there is nothing like connecting with someone who truly understands what you are going through. Someone who has been trained with the knowledge – as well as deep personal experience – in the ins and outs of infertility. Not only does it make you feel better, but it is another way to tap into your innate healing ability and mind+body connection.

We are proud to have partnered with Lisa Marsh, from Your Great Life to offer one-on-one counseling sessions to get your questions answered, explore emotions that you may be experiencing, or to simply talk about your history.  A complimentary 30 minute session is included when you purchase our new Complete Fertility Package.

Lisa Marsh specializes in coaching women and men, with ultimate discretion and flexibility, through the challenges associated with fertility and family-building.

Her clients are:
• Women unable to conceive without medical or therapeutic assistance,
• Men who discover the have no sperm count,
• Women and/or couples who have suffered pregnancy loss,
• Women who have lost their fertility through menopause or cancer treatment,
• The single person or same-sex couple, who cannot parent without 3rd-party participation, and many other scenarios.

Lisa gives attention to the whole person. Every facet of your life may be affected by infertility, including your self-esteem, your relationships with spouse/partner, family and friends, your work commitments and financial security. The stress that results comes around full circle to impact as an obstacle to conception. Those obstacles can be internal or external. Internal pressure comes from thoughts, attitudes and feelings, causing you to act or fail to act, such as:
• Shutting down or isolating yourself,
• Fearing to join or feeling left out of conversations or get-togethers with friends that revolve around pregnancy and babies,
• As an infertile man, confusing fertility with masculinity and virility,
• Feeling guilt, fear or jealousy regarding the need for an egg or sperm donor.
• Being fearful of trying to conceive again.
• Feeling too anxious to make necessary decisions about treatment.

Through coaching with Lisa, you can overcome these self-imposed obstacles by learning how to regain clarity and control, build your resilience and commit to a program of mindful self-care.

Lisa can also work with you on the external pressures, such as a small window of opportunity to conceive, the expectations of others, insensitive remarks, your medical treatment and funding treatment. Fertility coaching with Lisa can help alleviate your emotional response to those pressures. You can learn to recognize what, or who, drains your confidence, make decisions based upon your own values rather than someone else’s and where to look for unbiased support.

Lisa’s work as a fertility coach is informed by her own 7-year experience of recurrent miscarriage, secondary infertility, IVF and parenting her two children. She is the coordinator of the North London Miscarriage Support Group on behalf of the Miscarriage Association, a registered charity in England and Wales. Through Your Great Life, Lisa offers not only 1-to-1 sessions by phone and in person, but also group workshops, fertility-related events, support tips and relevant links on Twitter, and fertility-related products that support her coaching.

When Sue and I first spoke with the folks at Conceive Magazine back in September of last year, I was struck by the shared goals of our organization.  Started by Kim Hahn, who recognized the need for women and couples on the family building path to have a resource of information, Conceive Magazine does an excellent job of covering all facets of baby-making.  Conceive is an organization with a sole purpose:  to provide unbiased information to women and couples to help them on their journey to motherhood.

On many levels, I admire her initiative to create something where nothing existed – and creating and growing a magazine in a climate where print media is under pressure.  Managed by Beth Weinhouse, the quality of the editorial is extremely high.  The research, breath and depth – in a very uncompromised fashion – is evident in each and every issue.  We recommend to pick up your issue today – which you can find easily at Barnes and Noble.

Circle + Bloom was featured in the news section of their Winter Issue 2010, and for that we want to thank Conceive Magazine for informing their readers of our new program.  We look forward to a relationship that continues to blossom!  Here is the link to the article article, and the gorgeous cover of the winter issue.