With this study published definitely linking stress and trying to conceive, we are one giant step closer to understanding more about our female bodies.

Three years ago when I had my “a-ha” moment, standing in my kitchen holding a cup of coffee, with the idea of Circle+Bloom banging me on the top of the head, the stress-fertility connection was only a theory. Over and over we heard friends who “gave up trying” and either adopted or decided to go childless, and they ended up naturally pregnant.

Even my own experience seemed to show the connection: our first baby came with us “trying but not trying,” – we weren’t using birth control, nor were we expecting anything to happen. Our second child was a completely different story. With my biological clock ticking like Big Ben, our work to get pregnant a second time was just that: work. Four years of work.

Now, we have 284 women to thank for shedding light on the subject. With the study published in the Journal of Fertility and Sterility, we can now conclusively say that there is a most definite connection between the length of trying to get pregnant and levels of stress.

Of course there are a multitude of other factors that may be impeding your fertility: PCOS, endometriosis, premature ovarian failure, cysts, etc., etc. This doesn’t mean, however, that you should ignore the stress component if you do have a diagnosed condition. Working through your stress issues will give you peace of mind and having a better feeling of control over your fertility and may give you the strength to carry on.

So let’s celebrate this new-found knowledge! Use it to our advantage! Say NO to stress!

I can hear you yelling at me right now though. Is this easier said than done? This raises questions for ourselves such as how much stress do we really experience in our lives? How can I really reduce stress and relax? How do I know if it is working?

Here are five tips to begin to think differently about your life, your stress and your ability to become pregnant:

1. View the stress-infertility link with a sense of optimism and take control of your fertility. Knowledge is power, and this study brings us closer to making our pregnancy dreams a reality. Think about this as a way to restart your fertility journey.

2. Assess what brings you peace, joy and fulfillment. Every single day, find the simple things in life and find gratitude for them. For me, it could be the sun light filtering through the curtains that makes me stop and enjoy the moment. What else brings you happiness throughout your day? Try to become more aware of your inner state of being, and really make a commitment to yourself to manifest more of the good stuff in your life.

3. Deep breath every single day. The wonderful book by Meir Schneider who taught his eyes to see after being born completely blind convinced me of the value of deep breathing exercises. The fact that most of the time we take in only enough oxygen for our lungs when the entire body needs oxygen convinces me that we need to take time to restore all parts of our body with deep breathing exercises. Not only will you feel more awake and alive after deep breathing, but the process of focusing on your breathing is step one in any kind of meditation or relaxation work. Focusing only on your breath allows you to become centered and more fully present.

4. Wherever you go, there you are. The wonderful books by both Jon Kabat-Zinn and Ekhart Tolle have been so life-changing for me on a personal level. For most of my life, my thoughts have always been on the next thing in my life, the future, and the “what-ifs” that could either help or hurt me. I was known in my family as the “klutz” and I truly believe I have accidents when I am not focusing on what it is I am doing in the present moment. What these books have taught me is that all we have is right now. All that truly exists is right now. By focusing on the “now,” I begin to see the true value of my existence. (Note – I still have klutzy moments as my sisters will surely point out – but I realize it immediately where my thoughts were and therefore feel more in control.)

5. Integrate relaxation techniques into your schedule. Just like you exercise for health, just like you take vitamins and eat healthy foods, you should also take time to consciously reduce your heart rate in relaxation and focused attention. Slowing your brain chatter, becoming more aware of your thoughts each and every day – and scheduling something in your daily schedule like meditation, using our Circle+Bloom programs, yoga, journaling, or simply taking a long slow walk to savor the day.

As our good friend Keiko recently wrote, I’m “gonna get my dork on” and show you the awesome books that I am bringing on vacation. I can’t wait to eat them up. I don’t think I am over emphasizing when I say that reading has changed my life.  It has opened my brain to new ways of thinking and approaching life. I wasn’t always a huge reader – it kind of grew into a passion while I was commuting into New York every day and had a good 3 hours to kill.

Fiction is not for me. I love a good book filled with real stories, real people, and real circumstances. And then I apply them to my situation and it feeds my brain and gives me new ideas.

I just got back from Barnes & Noble and my local library. Here are the books that I intend to gobble up while I lay like a vegetable on the beach.

I even like the way they LOOK.  Don’t judge a book by its cover?  Yeah right – I do it all the time!  Aren’t these covers gorgeous?  Look at the Proust Was a Neuroscience by Jonah Leher (who also write an awesome blog called The Frontal Cortex on the Wired Magazine website).

If any of them warrant more attention after I read them, we will add them to our Books We Love category.

Do you share a similar passion for books? What do you like?

When people talk about Circle + Bloom they use different ways to describe our programs and how it works. We hear our programs referred to as meditation, mind-body therapy, relaxation exercises, etc.

To a certain extent our programs incorporate parts of all of these descriptive terms, but our programs are also different from all of these as well. As one customer said, “five years ago when I was doing fertility treatments I used a different meditation program and it did not even compare. I think the fact that the meditations change with the cycle really makes it much easier to get in touch with your mind and body”.

Stumbling across this great book called Made to Stick, I had an ephiphany. The book talks about the importance of using stories to help people remember and understand your message. Among many reasons, the book states stories resonate because they cause mental stimulation. The listener begins to imagine the events that are being told to them.

And here is the shocker. When we imagine an event unfolding in detail, the same modules in the brain are activated as when we are actually part of the event. The body and mind do not differentiate from the imagination and the actual event. The listener physically and emotionally connects to your story.

And there’s more. The authors shared the results of an experiment conducted by UCLA students. In the study, there were three groups, one group stimulated their brain in general terms. So for example, we might be thinking “I am not getting pregnant, and I want my body to get pregnant, I want my body to do what it needs to do to get pregnant.” The second group stimulated their brain in process terms. For example, “This is day ten of my cycle, and my body is doing what it should do to gear up for ovulation.” And then the third group’s thought in outcome terms – or – “I will get pregnant, and it will be so great when I get pregnant. I can visualize being pregnant.”

Which group do you think had better results of achieving what they were mentally thinking about achieving? Group Two! Thinking in process terms was much, much more effective.

What does all this have to do with what makes Circle + Bloom different? Absolutely everything!

Our programs are fundamentally built on the process terms foundation. We make the mental stimulation easy for you to apply this to the way you think about and go about conceiving. Our programs follow specifically what your body should be doing for optimal reproductive health during the conception and pregnancy phase. We know of no other meditation, mind-body or relaxation program that takes this approach. They will use either the general term approach or the outcome approach – both are good, but we do not feel as effective us the process approach.

There are a few other differences to other typical mind-body activities such as yoga, acupuncture, on site mind-body programs. Circle + Bloom can be done in the privacy of your own home, when you want, on your own time. No need to drive anywhere, no need to sit in waiting rooms. And yes the cost is much lower as well.

We hope this helps to explain what makes Circle + Bloom different. If you are using our programs and doing other things like yoga, meditation or “alternative therapies”, we would love to hear other differences that you see as well! Comment below!

Adoption has been on our minds of late. Our best friends are in the latter stages of domestic adoption, and have had a few heart-breaks and near-misses.

We take heart and get so excited, however, when we hear of adoptions proceeding to the hopeful conclusion. This is the family that we posted the video of a few weeks back of them seeing their son for the first time through pictures, and now this video is of the entire family meeting Endale.

Warning: this is incredibly emotional and do expect your eyes to explode with tears!

This is a guest post from our good friend Cindy Bailey from The Fertile Kitchen. After being given a 2% chance of naturally conceiving, Cindy completely changed her diet and was pregnant within four months. Motivated by this life-changing experience, she set out to write about her fertility diet research and, along with her husband, crafted this beautiful book that is both filled with interesting recipes and well-researched facts about what to put into our bodies to optimize our fertility.

Finally, after six IVF treatments Celine Dion is pregnant with twins at the age of 42. Hooray! Hooray for her persistence as much as her reward. It can be tough for women to get pregnant in their 40’s. Should they go for it anyway? (I think I know how Celine would answer.)

First of all, I want to congratulate Celine on sharing her very private fertility story publicly because by doing so she helps those that don’t have fertility issues better understand how incredibly grueling and sensitive it is to go through such an ordeal. I often refer to Dr. Alice Domar’s findings in a Harvard study: Women who want children and are told they can’t have them react with the same level of stress and depression as those who are told they have cancer or AIDS. Yes, it’s that devastating.

Second, here’s what I think about women attempting to conceive in their forties: go for it! Yes, the statistics and odds are against you, but I believe we are not statistics. We are people, individuals, and we do have the power to make a difference in our own health – reproductive and otherwise. We can use mind-body techniques, such as Circle+Bloom’s beautiful program, to reduce stress and create calm, we can use visualizations to empower us, and we can eat the right foods to optimize our health. We can do acupuncture, meditate, take herbs and supplements and do yoga. And we can do IVF too if we choose. There is a lot we can do to make a difference for ourselves and set us apart from the average statistic. As a group we even have the power to change the statistics to something more positive over time!

But know up front that trying to conceive in your 40’s might not be easy. If it’s not, you have to decide for yourself how much you can take, and when enough is truly enough. Unfortunately, there is no magic formula that guarantees pregnancy. I know of a woman who finally got pregnant with her 9th IVF, another with her 11th. They reached their dreams, but at what cost? How far do you feel you can go? I believe that decision is up to you and you alone.

When I was given a 2% chance of conceiving, I made a conscious decision not to listen to that number. It was unacceptable to me that I don’t get to have a child, so I set out to do everything in my power to fight the odds. I researched and went on a fertility diet, practiced yoga, meditated, did visualizations and took supplements. I simply flat-out believed I would have a child at some point, and four months later I conceived naturally at 40. I believed in myself and in my body to make a difference.

Looking back, I knew I wanted to be able to say I did everything I could, within my emotional and financial capacity. That way, when the time came, I could move forward without regret, knowing I had tried everything I could. Sometimes we don’t know our limits until they’re tested. In any case, I feel only you can decide when you’ve reached them.

So if Celine Dion wanted to keep doing IVFs until she reached her goal (and her husband agreed to it), more power to her. That was her choice. She understood the challenges she faced and chose to fight. It was a risk, but it was hers to take. Now she is blessed with enjoying the rewards.

© 2010 by Cindy Bailey of www.fertilekitchen.com

A few weeks ago, we posted some daily intentions for fertility. Lately, I have taken to writing down my intentions for the day on a simple index card. Whether it relates to my work, my family, my spirituality, or my health, it enables me to distill my focus in one area that stays with me throughout the day. I put my intention on one side of the index card, and then on the other I put my “magic six” for the day – or essentially my to-do list that allows me to fulfill on my intention.

Dr. Rob Kiltz of CNY Fertility, also posts his intentions in a daily video blog, and it is so inspirational. We are proud to have a developing relationship with him and four of his offices in Upstate New York (more on that to come!)

So, we asked Melanie to create this downloadable PDF with the idea that you can clip them into little pieces and take them with you…little reminders and ways to center yourself again.

We hope you like it – and again, please let us know what other intentions that you would add here!

“Infertility is where breast cancer was in the 1970s—completely in the closet.”- Lindsay Beck, Fertile Hope

Thank you Jennifer Wolff Perrine for this amazing article in the August issue of Self Magazine. It explores the fact that there are so many women having trouble conceiving, but nobody feels comfortable talking about it. As a company, we have really started to engage in this discussion with others in the field – those that think infertility should have a “pink” ribbon and that lack of awareness of the condition and the insensitivities from the media are truly debilitating to those suffering with the condition.

What can we do about this?!? What could be the catalyst that begins to move us all in the right direction? More women speaking publicly about it? More articles such as this? What are your thoughts? We would love to help this movement!

I took the liberty on summarizing a few key points from the article:

The majority of the 7.3 million women experiencing infertility will NOT talk to their friends and family:

One in eight American couples will experience infertility, and 1.1 million women will undergo treatment this year. That most won’t talk about it makes it that much more painful: A recent survey of infertility patients reveals that 61 percent hide the struggle to get pregnant from friends and family. More than half of the patients included in the survey, conducted by pharmaceutical giant Schering-Plough, reported that it was easier to tell people they didn’t intend to build a family rather than share their troubles.

Infertility is an extremely painful and emotional condition

Having difficulty getting pregnant can cause as much grief as losing a loved one, says Linda D. Applegarth, Ed.D., director of psychological services at the Perelman Cohen Center. “But it’s different. It is chronic and elusive,” she adds. “There’s a fear that life will be eternally empty. Some feel a sense of damage and brokenness; it goes to the heart of who they are.”

Feeling uncomfortable to talk about it keeps this epidemic silent

Women’s silence hurts more than themselves. It ensures that infertility remains an anonymous epidemic, with less funding and research than other common medical problems receive. Infertility activists, a beleaguered few, struggle to find allies…Because no one wants to discuss infertility, “nothing gets done about it,” says Lindsay Beck, founder of Fertile Hope, a program run by the Lance Armstrong Foundation in Austin, Texas, that supports cancer patients whose treatments threaten their fertility.

Stress reduction and working through your emotions does help

Domar shared with SELF preliminary results of new research she hopes will inspire more patients to seek help: In a small study of 97 Boston IVF patients younger than 40, women who had participated in 5 to 10 mind/body sessions were 160 percent more likely to get pregnant after a single IVF cycle. And more than two thirds of women with a clinical diagnosis of depression got pregnant after these sessions, whereas none of the depressed women in the control group conceived. The meetings teach relaxation techniques to ease anxiety and cognitive-behavioral strategies to fight depression. “These results can absolutely be replicated,” Domar says. “Isolating oneself during fertility treatment is not helpful to getting pregnant.”

When creating our Energy for Empowerment Program, I did a lot of research on the effects of lack of sleep on our body.  Turns out, lack of sleep can be the first domino in a chain of events that can wreak havoc on all aspects of your well-being.  When you do not get enough sleep, your body does not operate the way it should, and the net result is increased stress levels and cortisol, which we all know is harmful to all facets of our well-being and fertility.

I have always been one that “needs” 7 – 8 hours of sleep per night, or else I never leave zombie-land throughout the day.  Not only that, but even with 7 – 8 hours sleep per night, I still would rarely wake up feeling refreshed, energetic and feeling positive for the day. I used to need something like the “clocky” alarm clock that jumps off your nightstand when you don’t get up on time!

I am proud to say that I have changed that.

I now wake up without the alarm.  I now wake up feeling positive and excited for the day.  I start by planning my day while I still have my eyes closed and then spring out of bed.  How did I accomplish this?

By reprogramming my subconscious to allow for deeper sleep, and re-thinking about how I awake.

One of the sessions in our energy program focuses on your sleep:  Helping to fall asleep, and more importantly, programming your mind and body to sleep as deep as possible

It’s your subconscious mind in the wee-hours of the morning that dictate your behavior.  If you have always woken up feeling lethargic and tired, I believe the only way to change that is to change your thinking.  How can you change the thinking?  By using your brain to guide your body and direct it to change how it feels and reacts to waking up.

It’s hard for me to listen to my own voice, so I have created programs that I know can help people, but I have been the last one to actually use them.  My sister urged me to get over that and I am glad to say that and now I actually enjoy listening to myself (I sound pretty good, BTW!).  Anyway, I have really started to integrate the sleep and other aspects of the Energy program into my routine and the difference is profound and life-changing.

I am so passionate about what you can do with our programs and thank you for following along!

Working from home most of the time allows me to feel centered with a more well-rounded perspective with Circle+Bloom, my husband and kids. I’m truly fortunate to be able to do this, and LOVE what I am doing day in and day out. And this is speaking from a woman who only a short year ago switched from commuting over 2 hours each day in the city. Happy anniversary to my leaving my corporate existence to finding my true passion. If I can do it, so can you.

We had a family day while doing most of the recording in NYC for my “How to Use Circle+Bloom” video. And then my daughter Jacqueline made her directorial debut in the days that followed to help put the finishing touches on the video. We had so much fun that we made a bloopers video which I hope you enjoy watching as much as we had in making it.

Wishing you and your family a wonderful 4th of July!

Having a list of intentions – or some people like to call affirmations – can be life changing. Here are mine. I would love to hear yours.

We would LOVE for this to be a “wiki” list of intentions. Please add your own in the comments section.