Heather’s Advocate for Health Contest Blog Story

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Here is Heather’s story of how she advocated for her health and infertility. She also writes a blog Survive Infertility and Thrive that you should take a look at. If you like her story be sure to leave a comment below to help her win the $250 AMEX card!

I remember sitting staring at that phone.

I must have sat there for a long time before I got up the courage to make that call to the fertility clinic. All the fears of: “How much was this all going to cost?”, and most of all, “Can they actually help me?” were swirling around in my head.

Because, as the years pass, it gets harder to trust another doctor and embark on another procedure. It gets harder to open up to trying again after repeated failures.

Four years back in 2007 I went to my first gynecologist. He treated me like a complete idiot. Just because I couldn’t remember exactly how long my periods were, or exactly how long I’d been off the pill.

I was so ignorant back then. I didn’t question the doctor when he merely counted days and didn’t scan me to figure out exactly when I was ovulating. I was so sure I was not fertile on that first transfer. He drew out seven pipes filled with blood because of course everything was not lined up and ready. He made catty remarks such as “You really don’t want to get pregnant, do you?” But what did I know back then? I felt like complete shit, and was cramping like hell.

The second day was a bit better pain wise. (I was a bit more fertile by then). I was in a better frame of mind and hubby took me out for breakfast. I drank two cups of coffee. What did I know about caffeine and fertility back then? Not much. But we did our best that we knew how to do at the time, and it was a negative outcome.

I took a bit of a break after that. But I used the time to get better informed. My mom bought me a book called “Fertility Wisdom” which made a whole lot of sense to me. I went to a homeopath. I started subscribing to fertility newsletters. I heard about Sarah Holland and her fertility conference and I learned a whole whack more.

So in 2010 we went for our second IUI, with a different gynecologist. This guy was nice to me and did lots of scans and injections. Yip, definitely in better hands.

This time I proceeded the treatment by six months of acupuncture, homeopathic tablets and a very strict no sugar, no caffeine, no dairy, no gluten diet. I landed up becoming real skinny. I wasn’t taking any chances. I listened to Circle and Bloom. I did EFT tapping. I poured myself into this. The IUI took place during SA’s Fifa World Cup and I was so filled with hope.

Again, another disappointment. This was worse because of putting in so much effort from other avenues. And to top it all off my maid’s 14 year old daughter gave birth. We were even offered her baby two months later. To say it was a hard time and a hard decision would be an understatement. Nobody should have to make these kinds of decisions. And you can imagine the effect on our marriage. Adoption versus biology was suddenly this huge issue and we had to figure it all out.

In the end, after going for some EFT tapping to calm myself down and realise there were other options, and blogging through all of this, the best thing that could have happened gradually did a work in our relationship by the following year.

I became more accepting of adoption and we even visited an orphanage together. My DH became more accepting of IVF and came on board with taking money out the bond to pay for it. Nobody talks much about how hard this all is, but we got through it.

In 2011, I took a different approach. I went to a different acupuncturist who was also a homeopath who had been recommended to me. He was very good. While I tried to stick to the fertility diet, I was not as strict as last time. I did eat unhealthy stuff at times, but I didn’t stress about it. I was not going to get skinny again.

The doctor at the fertility clinic was excellent. I had heard a lot of good things about him. He immediately did a scan and picked up some problems. I had also been having very bad period pains and he suspected endometriosis. He scheduled a laparoscopy. He also put me through a load of expensive blood tests.

They found out that my TSH was slightly too high and I went onto Eltroxin. They also found that I had antiphosholipid antibodies which could also be medicated once I got pregnant (they had the potential to kill a developing fetus! Thank goodness I found out about that!)

I had the op. My mom came up and looked after me. DH even helped out. They found stage two endometriosis and removed a big nasty fibroid.

It was all about “out with the old and in with the new”. We prepared for IVF.

The last month before IVF I went for a follow up appointment with Dr. R. He said I would be ovulating on Thursday, and should try for conception as a last chance.

I thought this was hilarious. It was just like my homeopath trying to get me pregnant naturally. It had never ever worked before, so why should it work now? But what the heck, we tried.

I went for acupuncture on that day. I listened to the pre-IUI/IVF Circle and Bloom audios. I focused on that healing path. But my mind was the next month.

Two weeks later, waiting for my cycle to start so I could get going with IVF, I was still waiting.

And a miracle happened.

Two lines happened.

As I write this I am six weeks pregnant. It is still very early days.

But I am so glad that I persisted. I am so glad that we did not give up. I am so glad I picked up that phone.

Sometimes it really does take courage to keep going. It takes courage to ask for help when you’ve had some bad experiences before.

Take that leap of faith and become your own advocate for your fertility. Your future baby will thank you.

{ 38 comments… add one }

  • Sonica November 4, 2011, 3:20 pm

    Thanks for sharing your story, it’s inspiring. Congratulations on your BFP!

  • Debbie Cook November 4, 2011, 4:40 pm

    All pregnancies are miracles from God. It is that some women just have more of them than others. The smile on my face is that God allowed yours to happen. May you always see Gods love in your miracle.

    Debbie & Dusty Cook

  • Gabby Z November 4, 2011, 5:17 pm

    Great story Heather! I wish you the best of luck!

  • Heather November 5, 2011, 12:57 pm

    Many thanks, all, for your kind comments. :) Debbie I really am grateful to God for giving me this miracle.

  • M November 5, 2011, 11:32 pm

    I love happy endings ;) Congrats on your pregnancy :) Best of luck!

  • Hayley November 7, 2011, 4:00 am

    I stumbled on Heather’s blog as I was deep in the depths of 4 months and counting of no period (PCOS) and actively doing the homeopathy, TCM and acupuncture thing as I tried to help my body regulate my periods. Baby making was a phase 2 plan, if I could just get phase 1 to work (ovulate once a month!). It was so wonderful reading Heather’s story and relating to her journey, as we live in the same town… Needless to say, I got lucky too! The one time I happened to ovulate in 4 months… I fell pregnant (I had no idea I was ovulating and hubby happened to be at home after weeks of travelling). I still can’t quite believe what a miracle it is. Truly. So by my calc’s Heather, I’m about a week behind you – DD 30th June 2012. I can’t wait to read the rest of your journey as we both learn new and exciting things in this new phase we’re in…

  • Dee November 7, 2011, 2:06 pm

    Thank you for this story. I’m still at that stage of being afraid to pick up the phone, for all the reasons you said. But I don’t want to look back and realize I had a chance and didn’t act. Your story gives me courage.

  • Michelle November 21, 2011, 12:25 pm

    Wow Heather, what a story. You are an amazingly courageous woman. All the best with the next chapter. May you know God’s love throughout

  • RelaxedNoMore November 25, 2011, 3:33 pm

    What a great story, Heather. Hope you’ll have a great pregnancy with your miracle baby!
    I, too, decided to give Circle+Bloom a chance this week and bought the Natural Cycle program. The current cycle will probably be my second-to-last chance to get pregnant naturally before it’s on to probably a laparoscopy followed by IUI or IVF (we’ll decide in mid December).

  • Sarah November 26, 2011, 10:06 pm

    what an amazing story!! Filled with So much hope!


  • Jolene December 9, 2011, 1:08 pm

    Oh Heather. I never realised that you have had such a hard road. We are wishing you a healthy and uneventful pregnancy.

  • Lauree December 9, 2011, 3:26 pm

    Heather, I was really delighted to received your message today. I have been hoping and praying for you for months. Although I am now a grandmother, I went through a great deal of similar trauma, and we finally adopted two children. I am so happy that you have conceived naturally, and send thoughts of love to the baby and yourself for a safe and enjoyable pregnancy through to safe delivery.
    In Love, Light, Rainbows and Song, Lauree

  • Jani T December 9, 2011, 4:19 pm

    OMG Heather!! I am so excited for you!!! All that you’ve been thru is just incredible. I knew you would be able to conceive if you kept believing you would. This is the absolute best news!! Best wishes!!!!

  • cathie van rooyen December 10, 2011, 10:58 am

    Congrats, what a heart moving story!
    All the best! xx

  • Mariska December 10, 2011, 12:50 pm

    Heather, what an inspiring story! It was a tough road and good for you for sticking it out and for staying positive! Congrats on your pregnancy again and enjoy it xx

  • Elisabeth Manning December 10, 2011, 1:41 pm

    Wonderful Heather! I do recall speaking with you after the Fertility Summit about connecting with the spirit of your child and I knew it was a matter of time before your body energy shifted- your baby was there waiting for you to become who you are now, through all your beautiful growth. Circle and Bloom is wonderful for supporting this work, and setting intention, and I am so glad you took it to heart. Truly powerful journey of transformation. When we shift our environment inside and out to a more thriving, life supporting and life enhancing one, life cannot *help* but expand within us. Creations flow. Congratulations again and thank you for being a wonderful example of one who is “Living her YES”.

  • Karen December 10, 2011, 1:56 pm

    Oh Heather, How wonderful for you two, now three. Congratulations! There has always been a core of you that is so spirtually strong, I am not surprised at this outcome. So happy for you, such a beautiful story. You are brave and beautiful. Many More Blessings to you & those you love. karen.

  • Danny Pettry December 10, 2011, 9:13 pm



    Best wishes.

    your friend,

  • Tertia December 11, 2011, 1:50 am

    Big congrats!


  • Lena December 11, 2011, 4:14 am

    This is such a wonderful life story & an inspiration to all of us to have faith and never give up! Thank you for sharing and congratulations again on your pregnancy. What an amazing miracle! xx

  • Lauren December 11, 2011, 4:46 am

    I am so happy for you! May this little miracle baby be a huge blessing to you and many others!

  • Suzanne December 11, 2011, 6:02 am

    Well done, Heather!

  • Anitta December 11, 2011, 8:14 am

    Your story brings such a tear to my eye – but happy tears! What a long rough road you have been on, but when it all works out, it seems like all the years melt away. Good for you for never giving up and taking it to the end. Thanks for sharing your story, it is an inspiration for everyone!

  • Nan Jolly December 11, 2011, 2:03 pm

    What an inspiring story! Thank you for sharing. Shows it pays to hang in…

  • Lisa December 11, 2011, 4:52 pm

    What a wonderful, inspirational story! Many congratulations to you both. :)

  • Anna December 11, 2011, 7:23 pm

    Heather, Congrats! 12wks along and we rejoice with each moment you step along this new journey! Thanks for sharing your story. Thanks for being a wonderful teacher to so many children while you long for your own. You’ll have so much fun with the new title of Mom. Blessings to you Heather-feather! :+)

  • Cristal December 11, 2011, 8:45 pm

    Congrats Heather, Hope all is well… keep in touch.

  • Liesel December 12, 2011, 2:30 pm

    Wow, Heather, what an inspiration and awesome story! Thank you for sharing with us. Your courage and persistence, and writing about it, can give so many people hope.

    May this little person bring you amazing joy, growth, expansion and love! You will e amazing parents. Xxx

  • Michelle December 13, 2011, 6:46 am

    I have goosebumps all over, what a lovely story complete with a fairy tale ending. I wish you and Brett a healthy pregnancy and look forward to hearing about the birth of your precious baby!

  • Betty Moore-Hafter December 14, 2011, 11:33 am

    A wonderful story, Heather. Congratulations! I’m so happy for you. And thank you for being so open and candid. Your story is sure to inspire others.

  • Monica Keys December 15, 2011, 4:22 pm

    Congratulations, Heather! Very courageous indeed.

  • Shannon December 18, 2011, 10:20 am

    Your story is a wonderful one, and you are a special woman with much to offer the world. Thank you for sharing your story!

  • Gabriela December 18, 2011, 4:55 pm

    Well done Heather and congratulations! :-)

  • Cindy December 19, 2011, 1:04 pm

    Heather –
    Huge congrats! Especially for persevering and most especially for arming yourself with the information you needed to tend to your own fertility and health. It is a very tough road, but the reward is so, so sweet. Congratulations and wishing you a healthy pregnancy and birth. :) So happy for you!

  • Michaela December 19, 2011, 3:44 pm

    Wow that is amazing!!! I loved your story and what an awesome surprise you got at the end of it all! CONGRATS and happy and healthy 9 months to you!

  • S.I.F. December 20, 2011, 1:28 am

    I love your story Heather, and I am so happy for that baby to be of yours!

  • Elizabeth December 25, 2011, 2:27 pm

    So glad that you are pregnant! Take care and enjoy it :-)

  • Betty Moore-Hafter December 16, 2013, 10:49 pm

    This is a moving and courageous story, Heather. You are an inspiration. Congratulations and best wishes!!!

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