The Surprising Side Effect to Feeling Like Sh*t

“Rock bottom became my solid foundation.” – JK Rowling

How are you on this fine Thursday? I hope you are feeling happy, full of energy and have a smile on your face!

What’s that?!? You aren’t feeling happy, full of energy or have a smile on your face? Are you feeling as if you are in a rut…that nothing is going your way…and it seems like everything is just plain pissing you off?

And, of course, we have Mother’s Day right around the corner, which for a LOT of us, isn’t necessarily the happiest of days. For me, I get to reflect on the passing of my Mom more than 18 years ago.

I believe that it is the human condition to feel the full range of emotions and absolutely no one is happy all of the time.

But, here’s the key to actually harnessing the power of these negative emotions.

Yes, I do believe there is a power behind them. Call it the yin-yang energy that underlies our universe.

Allowing your emotions just as they are and “lean in.” This could be your personal paradigm shift.

But how can we “lean in” to capture this power? Here are three suggestions:

1. Allow yourself to just be

  • Even when you are saying to yourself “I feel like sh*t!” – accept it, and let yourself stay in that unhappy, dark place as long as you want. It’s absolutely futile to push those sad feelings out of your life because it’s impossible to completely change your outlook on command. Plus they serve a purpose. These sad, distraught, questioning emotions allow you to consider new options, take a step back from life and reevaluate, and to recuperate your mind and body from a stressful time.

2. Try not to label your sour feelings as “bad”

  • When you think about these down feelings in the context of allowing you to recuperate, or to learn something about yourself, would you label that as “bad?” Maybe there is no such thing as good and bad when talking about the emotional state we find ourselves in. And when we don’t use such labels, we become free of the restrictions they impose.

3. Try to center yourself on your life goals

  • Knowing you are in a “down” state, it’s important to stay focused on your life goals, intentions and desires in life. This will be your short-cut back into a more optimistic state. And I do believe what you think about, you bring about. So, intending and reaffirming what you truly want out of life, even if you are “faking it until you make it” – is so important and will always be the solid foundation from which to grow.

So, accept the truth inside, and always have your guiding star with your dreams, desires and intentions lighting the way… And find the juicy bits that keep life exciting.

Now it is your turn to take action now. Comments below and answer one of these easy questions: “What one word describes your you are feeling today?” or “What one word describes your thoughts about Mother’s Day?”

With love and gratitude,

{ 15 comments… add one }

  • Melissa May 9, 2013, 5:24 pm

    “What one word describes how you are feeling today?”
    DEPRESSED

    “What one word describes your thoughts about Mother’s Day?”
    SAD (I suffer from PCOS and Infertility so I haven’t been able to conceive.)

  • April May 9, 2013, 6:04 pm

    I would say, sad

  • Bmom May 9, 2013, 9:48 pm

    ACCEPTANCE is the word that I am feeling today because I believe it drives the ability to change or manifest anything in our lives. Most of the things that I find it difficult to wrap my head around remain just out of arm’s reach, but when I accept that I am capable or deserving of something it arrives or the door opens for me. It is easy to say you will have something or to want something, but without the acceptance of that event or situation it rarely happens. I have been on a long journey to complete my journey to a Ph. D. in clinical psychology and it has been arduous and not always pleasant (okay downright grueling to the point of exhaustion). I needed a break so bad, I was starting to self-sabotage. I felt like I was between a rock and a boulder. I could not afford to stop, although I had attained my master’s degree, to be psychologist I needed to go all the way. I didn’t dare quit because finding work at the master’s level has not been fruitful either, still I longed desperately for a break for fear of breaking myself. Then I was notified that my student loans had reached their aggregate limits and I no longer had the income to continue. I was devastated and traumatized, but after about a week of tears and very negative thinking I realized no one could prevent me from my break now. Financially most of my expenses were covered by student loans, so I was no longer between a rock and boulder, I was under both! Although family has tried to help, in the most minimal amounts (times are hard economically most people cannot afford the minutest amounts of giving), no real income has arrived. I have only three years left to finish my degree. I had hoped to conceive a baby sometime within those three years but my stress during school had shifted my thoughts on baby further back to the “someday dreams.” Since I was forced to take a leave of absence from school I allowed myself to accept the break. I realized that this is the rest that I needed/requested of the universe. Financially it has been very tight and very tight; begging is not an activity that I allow in my life so I have turned to meditation. Yes, I have made the “please extend due dates” calls and some friends have covered the dogs’ food, but I am not broken by this. I finally accept the fact that I can trust the universe to not let me falter from my destination. I know that I am a good psychologist and graduate school is necessary for the acquirement of my credentials. For now, I accept my talents as a writer and “helper” and send out positive actions and thoughts to the universe everyday so that I can start back to school on September 3rd of this year. That is the last date before my school drops me and I will no longer be able to defer the loans I have taken out to invest in my future. I don’t accept discouragement, but I do accept the positive outcome and that word acceptance is clearly my badge of courage in a changeable world that can seem quite traumatizing at times. Now that I accept who I am it is easier to stand tall against the setbacks that may present to me in life.
    I am a psychologist
    I am Barcley’s mom (she’s on the way I accept that completely now)
    I am able to pay all my bills including my tuition for the next 3 years
    I am graduating in 2016
    I am walking that graduate stage with my little Barcley sitting with family cheering me on

    I accept this; ACCEPTANCE is my word.

  • Ruth May 9, 2013, 10:29 pm

    Hopeful.
    Autumn has arrived, the leaves are a beautiful colour and the world is moving in cycles, just like we all are.
    I’ve come out of a long period of sadness and am hopeful we will have a family. Even if that’s not soon, or not to be, I’ve remembered how to see the beauty in my relationship. to be thankful for eveything I have and to embrace positive steps for conception and to enjoy life again. I am hopeful I can hold on to these feelings through trying times, or wonderful times to come!
    Wishing everyone out there a beautiful, hopeful and love-filled weekend.

  • Aimee May 9, 2013, 10:41 pm

    After two recent failed IVFs, ACHING describes how I feel most days of late, and as for Mother’s Day, SHATTERED about sums it up.

  • deborah May 10, 2013, 12:17 am

    ire for the day at how the medical system is treating me. I had my two babies at home, easily and quickly, like my other 3 children. But the twins came early so had go to hospital. … very bad experience.

    Grateful for my healthy boy and girl, new babies

  • Anthi May 10, 2013, 5:49 am

    After 4 unsuccessful IVFs, all I feel is empty and desperate. I fight these feelings every single day but sometimes they seem like demons and it’s so hard. However, I’m grateful that I have a husband who stands next to me and not opposite me. Everything happens for a reason, I’m thinking and try to smile.

  • Emily Aldargator May 10, 2013, 11:32 am

    Leading up to Mother’s Day: I am proud to say that I am already a mother. I just haven’t met my child yet. I have already been a mother to five beautiful embryos, celebrated their blessed creation and each intricate cell division, and mourned the losses when each decided that he or she was unable to stay on this Earth. I am a nurturer, a caregiver, and a role model for the many children in my life (none of whom happen to be biologically related to me). I harness the creative potential of all that it is to be a woman, and I gladly share my gifts with those around me. This Mother’s Day I choose not to dwell on over four years of fertility woes, double digit failed IUIs and IVFs and all of the loss and grief associated with this journey. I choose to celebrate the unending love that I carry within my heart, and the amazing mother that I will be (however that happens) and ALREADY am. Won’t you celebrate with me?

  • Selemnia May 10, 2013, 12:17 pm

    I have been dreading that particular day since my grandmother passed (she was my mother) and after finding out I had Endometriosis life without the possibility of a family of my own was even more painfull. My husband always tries to cheer me up but seriously.. what does he know? This year however eventhough I was super depressed I decided to throw a lunch at my house and allowed him to enjoy his mother. You see I started thinking about what joy she would feel to spend the day with her baby eventhough I had no one and for the first time in years I felt happy. So my word would be COMPASSIONATE.

  • Stephanie May 10, 2013, 2:51 pm

    Today I am feeling really sad…I felt the same yesterday. I feel very alone in my journey to conceive so it was nice to read the posts here to know that I am not actually alone (although maybe in a minority – if I learn one more person is pregnant this week, I may lose it). I am in the supression stage of my first IVF cycle (and last – we can’t even afford this one) and feel worried that I will not get my desired outcome. I am tired of feeling sad and disappointed and am angry that there is this group of us that have to go through this while others take their ability to get pregnant for granted.

    I’m going to try and spend Mother’s Day hiking in the woods – away from mom’s and babies. I know this might not sounds kind, but I think I will feel jealous on Mother’s Day. My apologies to those who might see that as selfish- it feels good to be honest.

  • Ana May 10, 2013, 10:31 pm

    ANGER…I miscarried in January and today is really hard to ignore the fact that I would be 21 weeks pregnant, I would be so excited about celebrating my first mother’s day after almost 2 years trying to conceive. Frustration and guilt about feeling jealous invaded me today. I wish I could stop feeling this way and it really has subsided, but today it felt like it was yesterday. I feel LONELY.

  • udechuchkwu Ugonma May 11, 2013, 12:01 am

    I am feeling alittle bit okay with some stories that i have read,i will really try and cope with other women this mothers day,i done 2 iui and 2 ivf all to no avaial nut i believe with this circle + bloom download it has gone a long way in easing my stress and i stringly believe i will make it this time

  • Rachel May 11, 2013, 5:48 am

    Tired, sad and disillusioned. My desire for a baby never diminishes , even though I feel I ought to entertain thoughts of never becoming a mother. After my first failed ivf we are about to do a frozen embryo transfer, and I can’t seem to find any hope that it might work. Our relationship is in a really rocky place. My partner isn’t interested in sex very much and this is something we know we both need to “work at” but already feels exhausting. He drinks too much and this constantly stresses me out because I am convinced it is adversely affecting his fertility. I feel so out of control with this. Life feels such hard work at the moment. And now I am to spend a weekend away with my cloister girlfriends, one of whom is pregnant, the others already have kids, and I have no idea how I am going to be cheerful and bubbly. I’m trying to accept my feelings just as they are at the moment, not to push them away, or put a brave face on, which is what I normally do.

  • Julia May 13, 2013, 3:17 pm

    Peaceful and full of hope! I am currently on my two-week wait after having had my third frozen embryo transfer done last week. I have been up and down since my transfer day, however, I have devoted myself to a 20 -30 minute meditation each day, which has helped me to stay focused and positive about getting pregnant. I feel very optimistic about this transfer and believe strongly in the body/mind connection. What we think manifests into reality and I want to create the possibility of being pregnant and not let anything negative stand in the way of this wonderful, burgeoning miracle. I will wait patiently until day 16 to do a HPT and will live in the moment until then. I trust that my little embryos are safe in his gentle keeping.

  • Amy May 13, 2013, 6:15 pm

    Thank you all for sharing! I hope just the simple act of writing down how you were feeling was liberating in some way. After reading these comments, both the hopeful, the sad, and the angry, I can say I am feeling like no one is alone…and that is a comforting thought to me 🙂

    -Amy, Customer Service

    http://www.circlebloom.com | http://www.yourfertilitydeals.com

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