Unexplained Infertility: The “Non-Diagnosis”

April 7, 2011

in All Things Fertility,Coping

Tulip From Above

Unless you have been through it, it is nearly impossible to understand the feelings of helpless frustration that unexplained infertility can cause. Each and every month it is the same thing over and over again. You hope and you pray that something will be different, but the pregnancy test always comes back negative.

You want an answer as to why this is happening, but sometimes the answers aren’t very forthcoming.

One of the must frustrating things about unexplained infertility is that no one can give you a concrete answer as to what is going wrong. Many of us would like to think that fertility is an exact science, and as such, we expect the doctors that we trust to have answers to the questions we are asking. “Why can’t I get pregnant? What do I need to do differently?”

When the doctors don’t have straight answers, we spiral into a roller coaster of emotions that are anything but productive.

If you are experiencing unexplained infertility, you are not alone. It has been estimated that anywhere between ten to twenty percent of couples experience this “non-diagnosis.”

When you struggle with unexplained infertility it is very easy to ask, “why me?”, “what am I doing wrong?”.  It also seems like people close to you think they have the answers, you get a million tips from friends and family to help you get pregnant.

And I am sure on top of that list is the “just relax…!” which sends you through the roof. But, unfortunately it probably hits a cord because you know stress is very high in your life right now and that it probably is not helpful in your journey to have a baby. But who can just “relax” when you are dealing with unexplained infertility?

We hear this so many times from people, and so we decided to help give you a response next time someone tells you to “Just stop stressing”….

…something like: “Actually Mom, you are right stress does have a negative impact on fertility and I am doing everything in my power to get it under control, but it is very difficult when you are dealing with a disease that impacts every single aspect of your life.  Thank you for trying to help, I love you for that, but the best thing you can do is help with my stress by doing my laundry for me, clean the toilets and do my grocery shopping.  That will help with the stress!”

As opposed to any verbal response just smile and vent at your next Resolve support group.

How are you coping with such tips or suggestions from those in your life?

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Susan Liu April 12, 2011 at 9:45 am

I might make a woman trying to get pregnant after repeated failures highly irritated to hear that they should relax. But there is medicinal evidence that indicates that stress does affect the human body, to include the reproductive organs. So, don’t take the advice to relax too lightly.

Bernadette King September 21, 2012 at 1:17 am

I have been diagnosed with unexplained fertility and my doctor said that stress plays no part in my diagnosis. He then went on to say that women in concentration camps fell pregnant…

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