Single and Want A Baby? What Should One Do? – Personal Fertility Journey: Denise’s Blog

A Personal Fertility Journey

Denise continues to share her fertility journey with us.  She opens up about her struggle with how to handle the fact she wants a baby, but there is no man in her life, and the judging that can come with that desire.

In Her Words….

Once I decided to have a baby, it seemed as if the skies became bluer, the sun became a little brighter, and the grass was just a tad bit greener. My heart overflowed with joy. There was just one “little” problem: I was single. Considering the fact that in order to get pregnant, one needs a man’s sperm to meet a woman’s egg, I realized I was missing a big piece to the puzzle. Well, how in the world could I contemplate getting pregnant if I didn’t have a husband or even a boyfriend?

The baby daddy question occupied my thoughts. I tossed and turned at night. I pulled at my hair during the day. What in the world was I going to do? One day-in the midst of agonizing over this “little” wrinkle in my plan, a light bulb went off and in big, bold letters I saw the word “INSEMINATION” flash brightly in my mind’s eye!  I was so pleased with this epiphany. Plenty of women have done it. Why can’t I? Well, I absolutely can do it. I was so pumped after making this decision. The answer to my agonizing had presented itself.

Alas, my relief was short-lived, as a whole new set of issues presented themselves. Whose going to be the father? Should I ditch the idea of insemination altogether and ask my ex-boyfriend to take me back?  Is there anyone I know who will agree to this?  If I don’t know someone who will do this for me, will I really consider an anonymous donor–being injected with a total stranger’s sperm? If I chose an anonymous donor, will my child ever know his or her father? So many questions, so few answers.

I talked to two men I know that I thought would be suitable sperm donors (the ex-boyfriend and a co-worker). Without going into too much detail, let’s just say the whole fiasco morphed into a horrible soap opera! That being said, I had to seriously consider the idea of an anonymous donor. I discovered there were two types, open and completely anonymous. If I chose an open-donor, then the issue I had with my child never knowing his or her father would be deleted. I discovered how rigorously donors are tested for genetic and sexually-transmitted diseases, as well as the extensive medical history on not just the donor, but the donor’s children (if they have any), mother, father, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Additionally, there is extensive information on the donor’s education, profession, grades, likes and dislikes and personality tests. I dare say, most women know more about their sperm donor than a man they would date and subsequently marry!!! After discovering all this information, the decision to use an anonymous donor was much easier to accept.

I know many people reading this will not be supportive of my decision. But, I implore you to hold off on judging. I have found that most people who are negative regarding donor insemination don’t know much about it and have children of their own. My decision was the right one for me. My decision has brought me much relief. No more headaches or worry regarding this issue. Now, if I can just get pregnant!! It’s not going to be easy at my age and with my health issues. But, Jaydon will be conceived!

{ 47 comments… add one }

  • Ashlie February 20, 2016, 9:15 pm

    I can’t find that right guy I really want a baby am 26 and i really want a baby before am 30

  • Ashlie February 20, 2016, 9:20 pm

    I am looking for a baby donor please oh please hit me up

  • hle February 24, 2016, 6:35 am

    im 33 looking for a men who can share a child with me. he must be south african n i must know your parents and relatives for the sake of the child. contact me on hles@webmail.co.za

  • Amber February 24, 2016, 11:00 pm

    I completely get it! I’m 19 and all I want is to be a mother. I was pregnant last year but lost the baby (the father told me I should have an abortion, asshole I dumped him), and have been scared to try since. It seems like everyone around me is pregnant and that’s all I want. My 18 yr-old sister is pregnant and I’m soooo happy for her, her boyfriend is excited too, HE WANTS THE BABY. But I’m also jealous of her. My brothers girlfriend is 22 and has three kids, and is trying for another. My ex-best-friend is 19 and just had her second baby. When will it be my turn?!?! I honestly don’t even care if the father is a part of the child’s life (let’s be honest that’d be nice in an idealistic world). Babies are a blessing, every-single-one, and I want that. Let me know what you think, am I crazy? Do I make complete sense? Email me amber.pelkey96@gmail.com and let me know.

  • Brad March 1, 2016, 12:23 am

    Hello my name is Bradley I’m a full-time single dad and I’ll be happy to make you happy and give you a baby as I know I got a very good sperm count I’m 31 in Kent UK email me on bradleyelvis2016@gmail.com

  • Eshwar March 2, 2016, 6:53 am

    I am willing to help someone to have a baby.

  • Jean Ammi March 10, 2016, 12:31 am

    Hi, My name is Jean Ammi 30 French African. I am single and really want to be a dad. I think I will be good at it…..I currently live in Melbourne, work full time and doing a master degree in Public Health. Hit me up if you are interested.
    j_ammi@yahoo.fr

  • Dominique March 17, 2016, 4:07 am

    Life through s you curve balls, and then when you look again time has passed. I had failed relationships, every time hoping “this will be the one”. I’m fun, loving, spontaneous, adventures, have my own business, still doing modeling and am a photographer.
    I am from South Africa, looking for a likeminded woman with the same kind of background, who also is in the same boat that wants a child or more, without going through the whole relationship story again, hoping for it to work, while your biological clock is running out.
    I love children and work with children, but don’t have the honor to be a dad. I’m looking for a co parent agreement that can suite us both
    Hope to hear from you soon

  • haley March 20, 2016, 4:00 am

    I am 24, I really want a baby so much.

  • shijil March 20, 2016, 8:39 am

    hi, im shijil from india.
    age :22
    study BCA DEGREE in kerala.
    im good looking boy , i like donate sperm.
    if u intersted, mail me….

  • ali March 21, 2016, 10:29 pm

    Hi
    I’m ali
    any one need sperm contact me
    Dash98ali@gmail.com

  • Ken March 22, 2016, 12:46 am

    My name is Ken, male. I’m 30 years old and I am looking to have a baby. I currently live in Wisconsin, USA. Email me for more details. kbrownwi@gmail.com. Subject line: Half On A Baby

  • Andre Williams March 23, 2016, 3:39 am

    I would love to help a woman get pregnant

  • Janis March 23, 2016, 6:51 am

    I am 46 years old, living in Denmark, I am non smoker and drinker, can help to made a good baby, pleas write to me: sparnins68@inbox.lv

  • Caribian Martin March 23, 2016, 11:31 am

    My name is Caribian i am 19 yr… Take care of my niece she lives with me full time. I am working have a job. Got my g.e.d.. All i want is have a child for me and my niece so she has somebody to play.. I believe i was put on this earth is to be a Mother to raise children and love them.. I want a Baby.. The father don’t got to be in the baby life… Just give me your sperm!!

  • Samantha March 24, 2016, 2:40 am

    I’m 19 and I really want a baby I have all the experience just no kid of my own, the father does not have to be in the life, but I would like my kid to know at least a little about you if that’s okay. I just believe I was meant to be a mother and that’s what I wanna be so let me know if you could help me at samanthaousley15@yahoo.com

  • Brian March 27, 2016, 10:17 pm

    I would LOVE TO be a dad. I’m 22 and a good working African American man. Feel free to email me if you’re up for it. Laday57@gmail.com

  • Derrick March 27, 2016, 10:38 pm

    Hello, I am a healthy man in my 40s and very interested in fathering a baby. I’d make a great dad and am more than willing to financially provide for my child. I am interested in the right mom for my child. If anyone interested in discussing this further, please email me. Thanks

  • Brad March 28, 2016, 8:46 pm

    Uk London man 31 brilliant sperm will definitely get you pregnant as I have 4 kids already and all was from 1 time having sex, will go get std check for you so you can see proof that I’m clean I’m in UK London area so email me ladys on bradleyelvis1984@yahoo.com

  • Brad March 28, 2016, 8:48 pm

    Hope to hear from you ladys x

  • kirk March 29, 2016, 2:47 pm

    Emotionally and financially stable man looking for a female to impregnate and co share parenting. Please inquire through my email at kirkearp@yahoo.com. Thank you.

  • David April 1, 2016, 9:49 am

    I’m a 42 year old male never had children and want a child really bad. I’m a christian, have a good job and can support my child. If there is a women out there who is willing to help me achieve my dreams at becoming a father please contact me, Thank you for your time

  • Marc. Morales April 3, 2016, 8:54 am

    I like to help have kids. I like to see my babys. Let talk about it. I’m live in Dallas TX

  • Charlie April 3, 2016, 7:20 pm

    At 23 years old and nearly 24 i am single with probably no guy in sight with two gorgeous sisters and i’m starting to feel really really broody. my brother and cousin have both just had children and whenever i’m with my 3 year old niece people keep mistaking her for being mine. I always laugh it off but sometimes i do wish that i had a little baby of my own. i watch uk soaps and all of them involve pregnancy or newborns. I just want my own little baby even though i’m not financially ready i am emotional. I just hope to god i do have a child, even though i’d love a dozen if not more. i just hope to god that i have a child before its too late no matter if the father is involved or not.

  • Gigi Love April 3, 2016, 10:51 pm

    Hello,
    I am a 39 year old female wanting to have a baby again and my clock is ticking! I am a nurse and Sonographer. Looking for a healthy, tall male, race unimportant! Both my children are biracial. Please email ASAP and let’s do this! Gigindallas@yahoo.com

  • jay April 4, 2016, 2:17 pm

    very good sperm count I’m 32 in London UK
    shoeboot_83@yahoo.com

  • Michael April 5, 2016, 7:17 pm

    I looking to have a child I want one so so bad

  • Claire April 7, 2016, 4:15 pm

    I am 27 and from Cheshire. I am looking for a males sperm to make my baby. Father can be in child’s life or not as long as he sticks to his words. Please email me at dcstanley2014@gmail.com.
    Hope someone can help me
    Make my dream many thanks.

  • Francis April 8, 2016, 11:19 am

    My name is Francis and I am 25 years old from South London. I have always wanted to have a baby since I was 21 but my ex girlfriend did not share the same short term goal. It is very refreshing to see like minded people. email me at edemfrancis@rocketmail.com

  • Roody April 9, 2016, 10:59 am

    Hi, Im 34yrs, Libra, from Florida never had a kid, which is the only thing i’m missing in my life at this time. Im looking foward to be a father Emotionally and financially stable. Great sense of humor, smart, hard worker. I am the only male in my family, so it is imperative that i have a child. Would love to Co-parent a child with you. Let’s help each other.
    Would love to tell you more. please email me at rchevrin@gmail.com

  • Steve renic April 9, 2016, 12:13 pm

    Live to have another baby have a son that is bloody cute let me know will send pics u b surprised

  • seidu nurudeen April 10, 2016, 9:00 am

    hi,
    I am a 32 year old teacher fro Ghana. I am an intelligent and handsome man. I am ready and willing to help any woman in need of sperm donation. interested ladies and couples can contact me on nurugift25@gmail.com for further discussions.

  • dave April 11, 2016, 1:30 pm

    Hi. I am in my 40s. Male. Pretty good looking for my age. I live in Liverpool. England. Would like to be dad. Any women interested. Contact me at paulie6719@gmail.com.thanks

  • james April 11, 2016, 6:47 pm

    Hi I’m James. I’m 40, white and I’ve never had children. I would very much like to be a father and worry that it may soon be too late for me. I want to be so much more than a sperm donor. I’m currently living in the Pennsylvania / New Jersey area and I’m open to relocation. If anyone is interested and serious, please respond.

  • DAvid April 12, 2016, 3:42 pm

    I’m Looking for a willing women to give me a child. I’m 42 years old with no children due to past circumstances in my life. And I’m realizing that i’m not getting no younger. But I’m healthy, smart, a christian, and would make for a wonderful father. I’m white, 5′ 10 good features. have means to support my child. Also I truly want to keep my last name. So please if your out there and know and feel what i’m going trough, please contact me at eyersindustries007@gmail.com or 909-687-05607. please only serious callers. thank you very much

  • njoka dom April 17, 2016, 5:44 pm

    I am 54 and 1/2 as at April 2016, married with 3 daughters. A social wprk, African and one obsessed with geting male children as a matter of my culture. Wants a a male baby with a willing donor, who is financially stable, and willing, but not mandatory, to have such a male baby with me. Intelligent, God fearing, height above 5.7ft, 83 Kg. and women loving. My wife today would love a willing male child donor to complement her dear family. An American, British, Singapore would be preferable.However, an educated Russian, of a Masters level degree would do. A woman is real as far as she so wants. ‘A woman is a wife by culture, and a mother by nature’ is my belief.

  • Lisa April 17, 2016, 6:28 pm

    Hello I’m lisa from Canada ontario always wanted a baby I’m 29

  • sam April 19, 2016, 1:06 pm

    As per your requirement I am ready to share with you my all physical and mental work also. From my parents and god gifted to me fair skin my black eyes noise straight height 5.8 inch face straight my intelligence level quite good and I am very sweet & calm guy my age 29 yr unmarried .

  • Moses April 19, 2016, 3:51 pm

    I’m a 27 year old musician and business owner, had a busy lifestyle and been hurt by a lot of women. Wanted to start a family for a long time but have always been hurt. Now just looking to be a dad, if you wanna share this with me, please email me… mosesj02@gmail.com. Ask me whatever you want.

  • Keisha April 20, 2016, 7:43 pm

    I’m looking for a sperm donor I am 28 I’m a woman I live in Houston TX and I am African American email me for more info

  • Malia April 21, 2016, 6:34 pm

    37 black female christian seeking male preferably christian to have a child and shared contact in his/her childhood which you can decide how much or what type of contact is o.k with you.Please write me
    Maliafrancis0@gmail.com

  • Rupesh April 24, 2016, 4:57 am

    i’m 23 years old young and tall boy….. I would love to help a woman get pregnant.. I’m very smart, 6 feet tall and strong… If any woman/girl is interested.. Mail me back rupeshpateriya@gmail.com

  • Kpogo K. Aime April 24, 2016, 5:23 pm

    Hello, Aime Is My Name From Ghana. I Am Ready To Give To Any Woman In Need Of Sperm , Make Any Woman Who Want To Be Pregnant Or To Be Known Or Not To The Child. Any Country In The World. kpogoaimee@gmail.com

  • Tobey April 24, 2016, 8:40 pm

    Would like to have a baby with someone. No strings attached. Can be friends. Well support.

  • Tobey April 24, 2016, 10:11 pm

    Email me for pictures…etc.

  • Kpogo Komla Love April 25, 2016, 8:30 am

    I Am Love From Ghana. I Read Yr Message And I Am Ready To Pregnant You If We Can Meet

  • Crystal April 25, 2016, 12:27 pm

    I am 45 and I would like to have baby. I live in Mi.

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