Single and Want A Baby? What Should One Do? – Personal Fertility Journey: Denise’s Blog

A Personal Fertility Journey

Denise continues to share her fertility journey with us.  She opens up about her struggle with how to handle the fact she wants a baby, but there is no man in her life, and the judging that can come with that desire.

In Her Words….

Once I decided to have a baby, it seemed as if the skies became bluer, the sun became a little brighter, and the grass was just a tad bit greener. My heart overflowed with joy. There was just one “little” problem: I was single. Considering the fact that in order to get pregnant, one needs a man’s sperm to meet a woman’s egg, I realized I was missing a big piece to the puzzle. Well, how in the world could I contemplate getting pregnant if I didn’t have a husband or even a boyfriend?

The baby daddy question occupied my thoughts. I tossed and turned at night. I pulled at my hair during the day. What in the world was I going to do? One day-in the midst of agonizing over this “little” wrinkle in my plan, a light bulb went off and in big, bold letters I saw the word “INSEMINATION” flash brightly in my mind’s eye!  I was so pleased with this epiphany. Plenty of women have done it. Why can’t I? Well, I absolutely can do it. I was so pumped after making this decision. The answer to my agonizing had presented itself.

Alas, my relief was short-lived, as a whole new set of issues presented themselves. Whose going to be the father? Should I ditch the idea of insemination altogether and ask my ex-boyfriend to take me back?  Is there anyone I know who will agree to this?  If I don’t know someone who will do this for me, will I really consider an anonymous donor–being injected with a total stranger’s sperm? If I chose an anonymous donor, will my child ever know his or her father? So many questions, so few answers.

I talked to two men I know that I thought would be suitable sperm donors (the ex-boyfriend and a co-worker). Without going into too much detail, let’s just say the whole fiasco morphed into a horrible soap opera! That being said, I had to seriously consider the idea of an anonymous donor. I discovered there were two types, open and completely anonymous. If I chose an open-donor, then the issue I had with my child never knowing his or her father would be deleted. I discovered how rigorously donors are tested for genetic and sexually-transmitted diseases, as well as the extensive medical history on not just the donor, but the donor’s children (if they have any), mother, father, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Additionally, there is extensive information on the donor’s education, profession, grades, likes and dislikes and personality tests. I dare say, most women know more about their sperm donor than a man they would date and subsequently marry!!! After discovering all this information, the decision to use an anonymous donor was much easier to accept.

I know many people reading this will not be supportive of my decision. But, I implore you to hold off on judging. I have found that most people who are negative regarding donor insemination don’t know much about it and have children of their own. My decision was the right one for me. My decision has brought me much relief. No more headaches or worry regarding this issue. Now, if I can just get pregnant!! It’s not going to be easy at my age and with my health issues. But, Jaydon will be conceived!

{ 15 comments… add one }

  • Marc May 3, 2016, 6:12 pm

    Hi, I’m an European man currently living in South Florida. I’d love to have a baby but girls here unfortunately are not interested in being mothers. Email me if you’d like to talk marco_velo@ymail.com

  • Michael May 3, 2016, 9:14 pm

    Any women looking for a man to father a baby, email me at MikeGlenNeal@gmail.com, depends on where you live, you must be willing to travel, i will not!!! Whatever arrangements you wish to have, parental or otherwise we can decide later!!!

  • sanele May 4, 2016, 5:58 am

    anyone who wants a child, I can help her. im a good looking guy.

  • allen evans May 6, 2016, 12:44 am

    I am a single guy and I want to have a kid but there is no one that does.

  • Raj Nityananda May 8, 2016, 2:48 am

    Yes I do for u if u interested

  • meisha May 8, 2016, 4:38 am

    im a young lady who wants a baby so badly but cant seem to find the perfect guy to settle down with n call home too.it sucks having baby fever!!

  • Samantha May 8, 2016, 9:00 pm

    I really want a baby but i also want to stay single too.

  • Tom Jenkins May 10, 2016, 6:30 pm

    Email me at kend6228@gmail.com Im a free sperm donor if you want send a picture also I don’t care if I ever get to see the baby again but I do want a baby some day I’m 29 years old perfectly healthy I’m tall and I can’t wait to hear from someone

  • raj May 13, 2016, 3:12 pm

    Any women looking for a man to father a baby, email me at ameyproduction at gmail dot com
    am an Indian Male of 31 working at Dubai

  • Sean Van Dyke May 14, 2016, 10:34 am

    Hi

    My name is Sean and I would like to have a child. I am an excellent man and I am willing to travel. Please email if interested in having s child with me.

  • Brian Smith May 14, 2016, 11:12 am

    Am willing to make u have baby but you must be single mom and not ready to settle with me.No contact after birth except very necessary.
    My email is brianforsmith@yahoo.com. I live in London,UK.

  • John J. May 22, 2016, 2:01 am

    hi I’m 54 years old now and have not found the right woman. I am wanting to have a child. Girl boy either any. So if your a woman that is able and interested write me!

  • Debbie May 25, 2016, 12:13 pm

    I’m 35 and desperately wanting a baby. No strings attached, just a baby. I live in Pennsylvania.

  • john May 26, 2016, 5:27 am

    My name is John, I live in New York 30 Minutes from New York City. Desperately want to have a child of my own and have been looking for a woman to do this with for the last two years but to no avail. I am open to the possibility artificial or natural insemination. I really want to co-parent as I want to be in the childs life as a respectable dad. If you are interested in this and live close by please contact me. Thank you!

  • Dave May 26, 2016, 1:52 pm

    Im a 38 year old male looking for someone to have my child. Im a war veteran and I own my own business. I want a child badly but unfortunately never met a suitable female that could provide me one. I would want the female to sign over all rights to the child (this protects me from her taking the child and demanding child support) but she would be more than welcome to visit and be in that childs life.
    As I get older and still dont have a child, it scares me that i may pass away and never have the chance to experience fatherhood so if anyone is out there that would carry a child for me…….. please and god bless
    allaboutcomputers@live.com

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